Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
