I hate your face
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
