So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
