so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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