I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
