You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
