Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
