Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
