This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
