Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
