nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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