I want to stick my p in your. b.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
