You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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