We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
im holly from the hills drunk
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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