how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
