I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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