So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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