Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
