You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
