id be glad to
Me. At least after what I've been through.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
