I don't think brook has ever known best
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
