Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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