I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
