we have pet lesbian snakes
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
