two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
