My sheets look like a crime scene.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
