i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
