Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
