Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
