and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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