So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
