I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
