it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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