You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
