either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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