for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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