It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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