Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Shame - the story of my life.
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