Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
