we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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