I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
