We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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