Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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