I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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