I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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