Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
