So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
