remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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