Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
We left the knife in your bed.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Panties = found
Randomize
