I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
