I swear she didn't look like that last week.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
