just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
