Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
