All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
