she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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