hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
ugly people sure do ruin things
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
