Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize