...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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