Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
