I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
