I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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