The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
