i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
bring money and cleavage
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
