I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
