Me too!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
