I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
