Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
