I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize