Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
