We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
