Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
