i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
