Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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