Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
