Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize