If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
