NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We need to get me chipped asap
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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