there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
God I need to hump something, right now.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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