Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Fuck appropriateness.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
