I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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