Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Randomize
