is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
