i don't like sucking hair
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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